Dear Annie: I recently attended my favorite cousin’s wedding, which was absolutely beautiful. However, I am troubled by what I heard about his new bride’s parents. Her parents planned a visit with them in their house this past summer for two weeks and then extended their visit to 3 1/2 weeks. Now, after the wedding, they plan to stay two more days and are now saying maybe they’ll stay a week.
My cousin and his new wife decided to get a hotel for those two nights and were OK with that because it was kind of like a mini honeymoon. But they are really upset that they now might have house guests for the rest of the week. I’m really concerned — not only for what is happening now but also for the future. I think they are setting up an uncomfortable precedent by not saying no to this overstepping of boundaries. They really don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. but they don’t know what to do. Any advice on how to handle this? — Overstaying Their Welcome
Dear Overstaying: You are correct that the bride’s parents are likely not reading the room. However, the only ones positioned to stand up to the couple are the newlyweds. Next time you chat with your cousin, let him know that this behavior from his in-laws will likely continue unless he sets boundaries now. If they don’t set the boundary, they can’t blame anyone for crossing the line.
Dear Annie: As a parent of two amazing young adults with severe food allergies (milk, eggs, peanuts and tree nuts), I was moved by “Garlic Allergy”’s letter. I appreciate your response, but also wanted to write about another option for managing this allergy.
My children also struggle with any potluck situation and they like to pack their own food to bring along so that they can enjoy the social part of a potluck or other food related event, but don’t have to worry about needing to head to the hospital because of ingesting something they are allergic to. It may feel awkward to pull out your packed food, but in our experience, people don’t mind and would prefer that you are there eating your own food than not attending. — Experienced Allergy Mom
Dear Experienced Allergy Mom: What a great suggestion — thank you! I was overwhelmed with the responses in support of “Garlic Allergy” from readers who had similar stories. The sentiment of the letters was always the same: When someone tells you they have a food allergy, don’t roll your eyes. They have probably been on a long and unpleasant health journey in order to discover their intolerance in the first place.
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